


Today is a Winding Road

by writteninblood



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety Attacks, Beaches, Bisexuality, Concerts, Established Relationship, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Jealousy, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Instability, Sexual Identity, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 11:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14670075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninblood/pseuds/writteninblood
Summary: “I don’t want to talk about him anymore,” Ed says, crawling over Oswald. “He is the past. We’re the future.”





	Today is a Winding Road

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is set in the verse of my story [4am](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11645784/chapters/26197479) and is a one-shot sequel, taking place two months after 4am ends.

“Do you want to come over on Friday night?” Ed asks, laying back on his dorm bed while Oswald goes over his notes on the floor. 

“I can’t, I’m going to a concert with Victor.”

“You are?” Ed does his best to sound as though he’s not hurt at the lack of an invitation.

Of course, Oswald sees right through him. “It’s a metal concert. Not your type of music.”

“Screaming and guitars isn’t music,” Ed agrees. It still would have been nice to be invited though. “Maybe it’s something I should experience once?”

Oswald snorts. “Okay Ed, I can’t quite see you in a mosh pit.”

Ed frowns. “I could be a metal-person.” 

“Just the fact you just called it that disqualifies you from going. Seriously, it’s good to do things separate. We don’t have to like all the same things.”

“But I like spending time with you. You work so much. And now with finals coming up, I hardly see you at all.”

It’s true, they haven’t been seeing a lot of each other lately, with Oswald working so much to cover the cafe being open 24 hours and both of them needing to study hard. He feels bad; he would much rather be spending time with his boyfriend than running the exhausting work-study cycle every day. Oswald puts his notes down on the floor and gets onto the bed, cuddling up next to Ed. 

“How about I come by after?”

“I could come and pick you up.” Ed offers. “I could give Victor a ride home too.”

“That’s really sweet of you.”

Ed smiles and turns on his side so he can kiss Oswald, his hands snaking up his t-shirt, making Oswald arch towards him. 

“It’s not entirely selfless,” Ed admits between kisses. 

“Oh I know. And I’ll make it worth your while.”

Ed’s eyes widen, and Oswald laughs as Ed rolls on top of him. Ed bites Oswald’s lip playfully and moves against him, and Oswald forgets studying entirely and gives himself over to the utter joy of being with Ed.

*

“What does a person even _wear_ to a metal concert?” Ivy whines as she hands the last customer of the day their change. 

“Whatever you want, Ivy,” Oswald says exasperatedly. Ivy has decided she’s going to tag along and she won’t take no for an answer. Instead of the cathartic stress release he’d hoped for by moshing with Victor, it’s going to be like taking his little sister out for the evening and making sure she doesn’t get hurt. 

“I’ve got some skin-tight silver pants, if I wear black boots and a black top, will that be goth enough?”

“Goth enough for what?” Ed says, dropping his satchel on the counter. 

Oh _shit_.

“I didn’t think I was going to see you until after the concert.” Oswald says, coming around the counter to give Ed a peck on the lips on his way to locking the door and switching round the open/closed sign. 

“Goth enough for what?” Ed asks again, looking at Ivy.

“Oh for the concert tonight. Oswald says I can wear whatever I want but goths are a pretty specific crowd. I’ll never understand their aversion to colours.”

Oswald winces even before Ed turns to look at him, hurt and disappointed. 

“ _Ivy_ is going?” 

“She invited herself! You know how she is, when she sets her mind to something. At least this time I can be there to make sure she doesn’t get so drunk she passes out.”

“Hey!” Ivy and Victor say in unison. Victor is long past taking shit for failing to stop her getting drunk that one time. Oswald feels bad for bringing it up again.

“Sorry.” Oswald says, averting his eyes, grabbing a cloth and spray and starting on the tables.

“Okay,” Ed says, still clearly dejected. “Have fun at the concert. I’ll see you guys later.”

“Ed…” Oswald starts, glancing at Victor desperately. 

“Hey Ed,” Victor says. “I can call them and have them put by another ticket for you. I’ve already asked for one for Ivy. It’s no trouble.”

Ed glances at Oswald and he can tell Ed’s worried about accepting. He’s come a long way from the skittish deer Oswald first met, but sometimes he makes reappearances, and in these moments Oswald just wants to protect him from everything. 

Oswald smiles encouragingly at him. Ed smiles timidly back. 

“Okay well, if you’re sure it’s not too much trouble.”

“Not at all, I’ll call them now.” And Victor disappears out the back. 

“How about you and Ivy go get ready for tonight and by the time you come back Victor and I will be finished up here and we can go grab some dinner before the concert?” Oswald says.

Ed grins as Ivy says, “wait, I can go early without cleaning?”

“Yes Ivy, you can go. Victor and I will handle it. Now get out of here before I change my mind.”

As Ivy also disappears to get her things, Ed suddenly flings his arms around Oswald and whispers quietly in his ear, “thank you.”

Oswald smirks. “Thank me again when your ear drums are bleeding later.”

*

Ed and Ivy walk across campus together, and when Ed turns to go to his own dorm, Ivy follows him. 

“Um, what are you doing? Your dorm is the other way.”

“You really think I’m going to let you dress yourself for this?”

She’s got a point. 

They return to the café an hour later, finding Oswald and Victor waiting for them. Oswald’s mouth falls open when his eyes land on Ed. 

Ed’s wearing a fully black ensemble, ripped jeans, ankle boots, plain t-shirt and a leather jacket. Ivy took it from Jim’s side of the room, and Ed left a note saying he’d borrowed it. The only battle he won was keeping his glasses on instead of wearing contacts.

“Do I look okay?” Ed asks, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He always feels uncomfortable when he’s not wearing clothes of his choosing. 

As Oswald approaches him he says, “Victor, Ivy, you may want to avert your eyes.”

Ivy rolls her eyes and Victor smirks as they both turn around and walk a few steps away from them. 

Oswald grabs Ed’s jacket and pulls him down for a possessive kiss that makes Ed’s knees weak. Letting go of his jacket, Oswald teases his fingers along the skin above his belt. He leans around to speak directly into Ed’s ear. 

“I’m going to make you feel _so_ good later.” 

Ed feels his eyes go wide as Oswald takes his hand and grins smugly. Ed takes a moment to readjust his pants before they rejoin the others and start heading towards his car.

*

Ed regrets wanting to come along within a few minutes of the support band taking their places on stage. The music is awful, and the band members have horribly greasy hair and sweaty shirts. Much like the people packed in too tightly around him, who all seem to look the same. He feels for the mini hand sanitizer bottle in his pocket. Reassured, he looks over to Oswald, who is chatting animatedly with Victor, or rather, they’re shouting in each other’s ears, because no one can hear anything in this din. People actually come to things like this for fun?

Ed grimaces at a particularly loud scream from the “singer” and looks around, mentally cataloguing where the bathrooms are. He’s not sure he trusts anything served at the bar. Ivy, who’s standing next to him, is talking to one of her friends, a blonde girl with blue and red streaks in her hair. All the people he came with are engaged in conversation, and Ed just stares down awkwardly at his feet, wishing he hadn’t come. Nobody is going to strike up a conversation with him, his only friends are Oswald’s. Well, there is Jim, but Jim wouldn’t be caught dead at an event like this. He wonders what Jim’s doing, wishes they were hanging out instead. Whatever Jim’s doing, it has to be more fun than this. 

He starts wondering if it would be totally lame to go and wait in the car. He thinks Oswald might be pissed, after Ed made such a fuss about going. But at least he wouldn’t be standing here awkwardly, feeling like the outsider. Oswald’s friends have been nothing but nice to him since, and even before they got together. But he just _feels_ different. And that’s not their fault, it’s his. His insecurities are rattling around in his brain, taunting him, and he can feel Other-Ed hovering at the edge of his consciousness, almost laughing at him. _Oh you actually thought you could fit in, did you? That’s_ hilarious. 

The sheer volume of noise only makes the chaos in his head worse. He’s starting to panic and sweat—his jacket feels too tight, restricting. His breaths suddenly become loud as everything else starts to tune out—Other-Ed is coming. He needs to get out. 

He fights his way out through the bodies, his anxiety closing in on him every time he meets resistance and really has to shove to get past. Eventually he makes it to the exit and takes a deep breath once he gets outside. The air feels deliciously cool on his feverish skin. He realizes the people milling around out on the street are looking at him strangely, so he goes around to the side of the building, where there’s no one. Ed crouches and leans his back against the wall, trying to take slow, measured breaths.

Leaning his head back, he wonders, why does there have to be so much wrong with him?

 _Because you’re not me_ , Other-Ed whispers. _We always have more fun when we’re me._

“Please go away.” Ed whispers back, brokenly. “I just want to be normal.” Oswald should have a normal boyfriend. The thought that Oswald deserves better than him makes a tear slip down his cheek. 

“Ed? Are you out here?” Comes Oswald’s voice from around the corner. Ed hurriedly wipes the tear away. 

“Ed! Are you okay? Did you get hurt?” Oswald crouches down in front of him, balancing himself on Ed’s knees. “I didn’t see you leave but Victor said he saw you heading out.”

“I’m fine. I just needed some air.” Ed tries to smile. 

“No you’re not,” Oswald says, brushing a thumb over Ed’s cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t have come here tonight. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to put a dampener on your evening. I’ll stay home next time, I promise.”

Oswald looks at him understandingly. “Ed, I want to spend more time with you too, I just didn’t want you to have to stand there listening to music you hate, in an environment you would probably hate even more. Victor and I had this planned for ages. And you know, I’m so wired these days, I really needed the stress release.”

“You _know_ I could help you with that,” Ed says, wiggling his eyebrows and trying to lighten the mood. 

Oswald smirks at him, before seriousness takes over his expression. “Did the number of people in there freak you out?”

“Yeah, that and how close they were. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.” Oswald looks at him concerned, smoothing his fingers through Ed’s hair. Ed’s eyes flutter shut. This always relaxes them both.

There’s an almighty burst of noise from within the venue and Ed is jolted out of the steady calm that Oswald had made him feel. “Sounds like the main act has started. You should go inside. I don’t want you to miss it.”

“I can’t leave you out here, Ed, especially like this.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve got a couple of new puzzle books in the car that I can do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” Ed says. “Go, have fun. Try to save some energy for me, though.” Ed winks at him, and Oswald laughs. He shuffles between Ed’s knees and pulls Ed down onto his lap. 

“Kiss me, handsome.” Oswald breathes, as Ed wraps his legs around his back. Ed kisses him slowly, reverently, tracing the line of Oswald’s cheek bone with his fingertips. He loves the shapes of Oswald’s face, so unique, so striking. How could he not want to spend more time with Oswald when it feels like this? Oswald’s love for him steadies him, quietens his mind. Makes him feel as though everything will actually be all right. He draws himself away from Oswald’s lips and rubs their noses together. It always amuses Oswald when Ed does that.

“You’re such a puppy,” Oswald says, smiling up at him. He always says that too. 

Ed doesn’t want to let him go, but he knows Oswald’s leg is probably killing him from kneeling, and he does deserve to have some fun and let loose after all his hard work. Ed unwraps his legs and stands up, offering Oswald his hand. He doesn’t miss the way Oswald grimaces as he bends his leg. Ed will give the muscles a good massage later.

“Have fun.” Ed says again. Oswald smiles and turns to go, but Ed says, “wait!”

He gets the hand sanitizer bottle from his pocket, pops the cap and asks Oswald to hold his hand out. 

“That place is full of germs.” 

Oswald smirks but indulges him. He rubs his hands together and says, “see you in a bit.”

Feeling a lot better (as he always does after seeing Oswald), he pockets the bottle and heads back to his car.

*

An hour and a half later, the door opens, and Ed puts his puzzle book and pen back in the glove compartment. Oswald drops into the passenger seat and immediately leans over for a kiss. 

“How was it?” Ed asks, leaning his hands on the steering wheel. 

“Oh it was awesome,” Oswald grins at him. “I think Victor got a bit too close to the front though.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see.”

Ed hears the sound of Ivy giggling and then the rear doors open and Ivy and Victor get into the back seat. 

“How was the concert?” Ed asks, looking in the rear view mirror. 

“ _It was awesome, man!_ ” Victor shouts, clearly not able to hear himself. Ivy and Oswald dissolve into giggles. Ed can’t help smiling at their amusement. 

Ed starts the car. “I’m glad you all had a good time.” 

“ _I can’t wait to tell Nora about it!_ ”

“Poor Nora,” Oswald mutters under his breath. Oswald and Ed exchange amused smiles as they head for Victor’s house. 

Normally Ivy doesn’t stop babbling, but she is suspiciously quiet this evening. They drop Victor off, waking up half the street as he says goodbye to them. Ivy remains quiet on the drive to the Gotham University campus. 

“Night guys, thanks for the ride Ed,” she mutters distractedly as she gets out of the car.

Ed watches her head over to her dorm building and furrows his brows as he reverses out of the parking lot. “Is she okay?”

“I think something happened tonight…and she’s going through something. I’ve suspected it for a while now. I’ll tell you about it when we get back.”

“About that,” Ed says as they leave the campus. “Do you mind if we don’t go straight back? I kinda wanted to show you this place I like to go sometimes.”

“Sure,” Oswald says. “As long as it doesn’t involve movement. I’m exhausted.”

“I thought you were going to save some energy for me,” Ed mockingly reprimands.

“I guess I got carried away,” Oswald says, sheepishly.

“That’s okay,” Ed says, reaching across for Oswald’s hand once they’re on the interstate highway. “I have energy enough for the both of us.”

Oswald’s eyebrows almost reach his hairline, and Ed laughs gleefully and squeezes his hand.

*

Not far from the turn-off that leads to Ed’s house, they head towards the coast. After another turn off they’re going slowly down a heavily potholed road, and they suffer the bone shaking for around ten minutes before finally Ed parks right next to some dunes. There’s no other cars around. 

The moonlight provides enough light for them to be able to see their footing as Ed leads them over the top of the dunes and onto the beach. Oswald can’t remember the last time he was by the sea. Probably when he was very small, with his mom. 

“Wow.” Oswald breathes, admiring the reflection of the moon on the calm ocean. It’s early summer and it’s hot enough during the day that it’s pleasant enough to be by the coast at this time of night. The breeze feels wonderful against his previously sweaty skin. 

“You have your spot by the river,” Ed says, taking off his jacket and laying it on the sand. “This is my spot. This where I always come when I need to think. I’ve been coming here for years, and I’ve never seen another person here.”

Ed sits down on one side of the jacket and gestures for Oswald to sit beside him. 

“Thank you for sharing it with me,” Oswald says, sitting down beside Ed and taking one of his hands. 

“Of course.” Ed says as they get comfortable. “So, you were going to tell me about Ivy.” Ed reminds him, once they’re cuddled together.

“Right. So for a few weeks now, I’ve been noticing this girl—”

“Should I be worried?” Ed interrupts, though he’s grinning. 

Oswald rolls his eyes and continues as though Ed hadn’t said anything. “And she comes in with her friends, and she spends a lot of time staring at Ivy. It seems pretty clear from how I catch Ivy staring back, that they’re into each other.”

“Aww.” 

“You’re such a sap.”

“You love it,” Ed returns easily, leaning his head on Oswald’s shoulder. He does love it, and he looks down at the waves of Ed’s hair, smiling fondly. He’ll never say it out loud though.

“Anyway, the girl is part of Jerome Valeska’s crowd, which concerns me. Do you know who he is?”

“Yeah, he’s pretty weird. I went to his party that time, the one where Ivy got drunk and passed out.”

“Right. So, there’s that aspect of it all. And there’s the fact that Ivy has never told me she likes girls too. I’m worried that she might not think she can talk to me about it. And I don’t want her to go through this alone, without support. And I can’t just talk to her about it, because I’m not _certain_ that she actually is bisexual, and I don’t want it to come off like I’m accusing her of anything….”

“You’re overthinking it,” Ed says, sitting up properly so he can look at Oswald. “She knows she can talk to you. You’re like her big brother. She probably just wants to be sure about her feelings before she talks to you about it.”

“I mean, this might have been going before I even noticed. I hate to think of her struggling with this alone. I doubt she would talk to any of her friends about it. They’re all so flaky.” 

“She’ll come to you, Oswald, I’m sure of it. And as for the whole Jerome thing, well she has you and me looking out for her. She’ll be fine.”

Oswald smiles at Ed gratefully. “Thanks, Ed.” Oswald absently strokes the inside of Ed’s knee. “Hey…when did you know you liked guys too?”

Ed looks away towards the ocean, and even in the dim light, Oswald can see a faint blush spread across his cheeks.

“When I came to university.”

There’s only one reason Ed wouldn’t elaborate and tell Oswald the entire story. 

Because it was _when he met Jim_. Oswald’s hand stills on Ed’s leg and he tries not to think about the fact that Ed lives with someone he finds attractive.

Oswald sometimes finds himself a little paranoid about Ed and Jim’s friendship, because he knows they’ve been through a lot together, and are very close. But he’s always stamped down that paranoia, because he trusts Ed, and knew neither of them felt that way about each other. At least, until now. Ed’s attraction to Jim adds a whole new dimension to the situation. He wonders, is Jim attracted to Ed too? Oswald isn’t sure he wants to know.

“Right.” Oswald finally says, acknowledging that he understands what Ed isn’t saying. They sit in silence for a few moments, Jim an unspoken presence over their relationship. Eventually Ed turns to look at him again.

“It’s strange isn’t it, how the same guy has had such an influence over our lives.” Edward sounds nervous - they only ever talk about Jim in the context of him being Ed’s friend, never Oswald’s history with him. 

Oswald doesn’t know what it is, but the whole situation is so ridiculous it suddenly strikes him as funny. “Fucking Jim Gordon.” He mutters. “I feel like he’s always going to be a pain in the ass.”

Ed smirks, and he can tell he is relieved Oswald’s not going to make a big thing out of what Ed told him. Normally he would, and he wonders why he hasn’t—he has a short temper at the best of times. Perhaps it’s the calming environment. Perhaps it’s simply because he’s with Ed. There is the fact that it wouldn’t really be fair to get upset over something which was obviously a huge moment for Ed. He couldn’t control how he felt, and ultimately it led to him fully realising his sexual identity. It meant that he was ready, by the time he found Oswald. Maybe Oswald should even be grateful to Jim. He inwardly shakes his head. No, that’s one step too far.

It occurs to him that in a way, Ed has more of a reason to be paranoid than Oswald does, because Oswald actually has a sexual history with Jim. Ed has never acted like it’s a problem for him, and if it makes him feel insecure, he has never shown it. They’re adults, and what they have is separate from Jim, and their respective histories with him. What they have is not comparable to anything, or anyone else. 

Suddenly Ed shifts, so he’s in front of Oswald. He gently pushes at his shoulder and tells him to lay down. Oswald goes willingly, looking up at the stars above as he makes himself comfortable. It’s probably the best view of the stars he’s ever had. They can barely be seen at all above the smog of Gotham City.

“I don’t want to talk about Jim anymore,” Ed says, crawling over him. “Jim is the past. We’re the future.”

Nothing else needs to be said. He looks from the stars to Ed. 

Ed leans down to kiss him, and after that all Oswald knows is the sensuality of Edward’s touches, the heady power of his desire, and the peaceful sound of the waves.

**Author's Note:**

> If there's anything anyone would like to see in the 4am verse, feel free to fling me a suggestion in the comments! :D


End file.
